Groomzilla strikes!

Anyone who has ever said the words "I'd be honored!" when asked to be a Best man/Maid of honor is either insane... or has never been a part of a wedding party.
That's the truth which I am finding out at this point in time my friends...
...that and baked Cheeto's are no where near as good as the regular ones.

When he proposed to his girl, my best friend asked me to be his best man (yes best man, you read that right). I thought "hell yea, this will be fun! Debaucherous Bachelor party and he's a groom... he won't be needy!"
Wrong on all three accounts BUCKO!
First... not fun. This wedding could not have come at a worse point in my life. I'm just not in the social wedding mood. I could get in the mood... but for the past 2 months... when I needed a friend... was said BFF there? Nope.
BFF could not even drag his lazy ass up here to meet the Captain before he shipped off.
BFF threw a 2 week pressure filled hissy fit because momma pulled out of a 3 day overnight Dubstep fest a week after the captain left. (I despise dubstep btw)
BFF could not even say congratulations when I got engaged.
BFF (though asked specifically not to) called and emailed while I was on captains 4 day pass to ask an opinion on wedding invites.. then proceeded to tell me to look while Captain was pooping or parking a car because I reminded him of my request not to contact me.
And much MUCH more has transpired.. BFF has been a *royal douche* as of late. BFF has been demoted from friendship, and momma no longer has any joy from doing this wedding. I'm pretty sure at this point I am just being used because I am his only friend intelligent enough to pull this together.
"What's so bad about planning a party and giving a toast... suck it up and get it over with".. you may say... I've said this to myself too... many times.
Well ... remember that part about me thinking "he's a groom, he won't be needy!" wrong again... He's micromanaging everything.
And - Maybe I'm wrong, but It's just not right to give a debaucherous bachelor party when your future groom is on the other side of the planet risking his life. I advised BFF of this. After an argument, it was determined a jack and jill would be had. Since that decision... he has had his nose SO far into the planning, he should be planning it himself. I am so nervous that whatever I do will be boring for him, I am just fed up with the whole thing.
I want to tell him to take himself... and his wedding... and his party... and shove it up his arse.

If anyone asks me to be in a wedding party again I am just going to LAUGH.
And I'm not having a wedding party. I won't do this to anyone.

Anyways... Sorry about the rant.
I'll post more happy thoughts later!