Things you NEED to know.

I had to write a paper today for school which caused me to reflect on my relationship with the Captain.
The question which I was to ponder was what state my relationship is currently in.

This got me to thinking about a few months ago...

The thing they don't tell you about deployments is that the pre-deployment stage SUCKS.

All you hear about before your soldier deploys is how hard it's going to be while they're gone. The difficulties you will go through once they return are touched upon as well. Even at yellow ribbon events where they basically tell everyone in the room that every girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse etc will cheat and steal all the soldiers money.. kids will hate the soldiers when they come home... the people being left behind will all be alcoholics and everyone will need to be seperated when they come home (if the relationship makes it that is)... there is not one single teeny whisper about the difficulties you will face before your soldier leaves.

This girl was blindsided... and left with a spinning head and hurt feelings wondering what the hell was happening.

So, for all of you who are with a soldier who is close to deployment... here are a few things you need to know.

1. You will fight. A LOT. And about the stupidest things. It's 100% natural. It's easier to say goodbye to someone you are mad at... So why not break up over wether or not the dirty dishes should be left on the counter or in the sink. That completely matters when you'll be apart for the next year... right?
You will also most likely feel the need to make the relationship sink or swim before your soldier parts. You need to pick one... and it's usually easier to sink then to live a year not knowing if you'll be able to swim in the future.

2. You will be distanced. You will quickly go from having the guy who teases his friends about how he gets home packed lunches while they don't. The same guy who makes orgasm noises over your roasted chicken. To the guy who sits there and tells you not to do anything for him. Not even send care packages while he's away. The same guy who denounced all phone games and texting "because the time we spend together should be with eachother." will turn into the guy who can't keep his hands off that new version of 'Where's my Water?' You will be left standing there wonder where is your place and what are you doing there.
You will also concidentally be wondering why the hell you would stick around for a lonely year if you're not wanted.

3. You will have only a tip of the iceberg feeling of what your soldier is really feeling emotionally. Your soldier will be working longer hours, and for more days straight then the average human being even dreams of... and they don't want to go any more then you want them to. Not to mention all the "business" of tying up everything for the year. Chances are if you're with a soldier you are with a 100% type "A" personality - or close to it. They're tough. Sharing feelings is for sissies. And they are definitely not stressed or tired beyond belief. Stress is for sissies. Soldiers aren't sissies! HOOAH!
This of course means you have no idea who your partner is (nor have you ever) because they are not opening up to you and that obviously means your future is doomed.

 4. Sex may be impossible for a while. Please refer to the stress and lack of sleep mentioned in number 3. However, due to number 1, 2, and 3... you will want more then anything to make that extra connection. Because of all the insecurity caused by number 1, and 2, you will also take this much harder and more personaly then you would if say... your soldier was tired, or had a hard day at work. You will not be able to take into account that physically it may be impossible for them. It will of course mean that they no longer love you and that the next year will be a waste of your time.

5. This will get better. About two weeks before they leave things will pull back together. And you will get back what you had before. And as an added bonus, you will be a stronger couple for it.
And all that stuff he said about not wanting care packages... was utter nonsense too. That boy will check his list daily like a little kid on Christmas to see if he got mail.